I had no complaints when I gave birth to my beautiful third daughter Luci in Februrary. Of course, she popped out so quick I barely had time to beg- yes. tearfully beg the young, poor doc for an epidural, which I did not recieve. But for the most part the care was pretty decent.

However, our most recent visit was less than satisfactory. Let me tell you the story:

It was July 23rd when I took my daughter Gracee- who is nearly three- to the E.R. at Jacksonville Naval Hospital, with our other two children in tow. My husband met us there when he got off of work on base.

She had been sick for about 2 1/2 days with diarrea (no, I cannot spell that word, so I will leave it there for you all to make fun of me, as the word is simply just not funny enough on its own), some random vomiting, and an off again, on again fever. So I loaded up my crappy minivan, hauled my children into the hospital and underwent the 8-10 hour ordeal that was the sticking-thermometers-up-butts and taking-poop-samples-in-a-plastic-toilet-hat-thing and everything-else-you-could-do-to-traumatize-a-toddler routine.

The nurses there were rushed, one was particularly rude and curt to my daughter (like- hello, she's two!) and the doctor was just plain sad to see. He told me that his wife- a nurse in the maternity ward- was pregnant with their first child, and he was nervous. Congratulations, Doctor, try three kids, its fun. I promise!

So after many tedious hours of whining and crying, we were sent home with a glorious diagnosis: a common stomach virus. Come back in to your regular doctor in a few days if it doesnt get better. Don't you feel stupid.

Well, yes, I do, thanks.

Until the other day, at least, when the phone rang. It was the lovely Naval Hospital, and a nurse was making a routine follow up call.

"I'd like to check in with you about your daughter and her diagnosis, see how she's feeling and if you've had any problems." She said.

"Nope, she's much better now." I reassured the nurse, eager to get off the phone. Hey, I'm a busy girl.

"Well, if you have any questions, you can call us here at the hospital, and you can look up salmonella poisoning online..." whatever else she said was lost.

"Salmonella poisoning?" I asked.

"That's right."

So after some more words, we got down to the fact that yes- it was salmonella poisoning and not a stomach virus that my daughter had, and no- I could not pin down where this had come from because it was now 2 weeks after the fact. Thanks very much.

Way to go, Doc. Good luck with your first kid, hope your wife has more experience than you do up in that maternity ward, because you freaking SUCK!

Needless to say, I was a little peeved at this point. Like, 2 weeks? What kind of turnaround time is that? Wow. Go Naval Hospital.

Great medical care we have here. Just saying. I guess thats it for now. :)